You better not bomb, I'm telling you why...

A few minutes after Rach and I plunked down on BART and I deliriously locked my vision into the floor of the decrepit train, Rach disrupted my trance with the disgusted proclamation: "Is that Santa Claus guy staring at us?!"

"Who?" I questioned deliriously.

"Him," Rach responded, pointing her knuckles in the direction of this old dude with a long, white beard, sitting at an angle diagonal to us but out of earshot.

I burst out laughing upon the sight of the eerie duplicate of the North Pole resident.

"Why has he been staring at us for the last twenty minutes? There's an Indian guy sitting right next to him; he might as well turn his face 90 degrees and stare him down."

And then, lo and behold, he DID! He literally turned his face sharply to the right and stared at the Desi guy, peering intently as the Desi guy pulled out his calculator and started multiplying things.

And then Saint Nick shifted his gaze to this Desi woman that was at about 45 degrees from him. He kept this isosceles triangular rotation going on during his whole train ride: us, 90 degree calculator Desi, 45 degree Desi woman.

Thanks to his watchful eye, no bombs went off on that train!