Drink, Link, and Drive

Why isn't there some over-the-counter pill you can pop to eradicate intoxication? I'm not talking about dampening the craving or curing a hangover. I know that herbal and greasy shit, respectively, tend to aid in those matters. But like, for the average reckless bar-hopping youth that then needs to drive home, can't the fucking scientists do something?

I suspect the most enthusiastic lobbyists for such an endeavor would come from the alcohol industry. While I am no fan of said industry, I would gladly receive its backing, just so I could feel safer amidst irresponsible young drivers that have been indoctrinated by its savvy asshole marketing.

The pill should be called "Link" because it puts your senses back together. The motto should be, "Drink, Link, and Drive!"

There, the name has been trademarked. Now someome, come up with an open source process to supply it some meaning.