"Women are like apples..."

I have seen this passage quoted far too often from well-meaning persons to refrain from comment:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy . . . So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now where do I begin with this abomination?

Let's start with the obvious premises: 1) that women are the literally dehumanized objects of men's "reaching" and "getting" and "climbing"; and 2) that everyone is hetero. Women don't have to passively sit here and wait for some brave jack-ass man to come pick us off the highest branch of the tree. We can have some subjectivity in the process, and it doesn't have to be with a man. And, for that matter, it doesn't have to be with anyone. Fuck that noise.

Moving on with the analysis of this ridiculous compilation of crap, I assume that its intention is to affirm women who feel rejected by men. I am all for affirming women, but why must this be conducted through misogyny? Maybe you have not been appreciated by a man for the amazing person that you are, but why must you conjecture that another women who has gotten noticed is "rotten," "not as good," and "easy"? Why must your self-worth be premised in how much "higher" you are than other women, in the eyes and reach of a man?

Even if some cowardly man is reaching for what he perceives to be "not as good" or "easier," why must you agree that the woman actually is of said lower value? Maybe the guy is only jocking her because she meets superficial aesthetic sensibilities and is sexually open, but that's not really all there is to her. The problem is not her; the problem is what he is using to evaluate women. Why must you participate in her degradation by perceiving her in the same one-dimensional manner and labeling her as trashy?

And for the "easy" bit. I may be "easy" as a third grade spelling test, but that's because I'm a damn horny woman with needs, not because I give a flying fuck about a man's. How do you like THEM apples?

I'm saving this link so I can blast it back to anyone who sends me this goddamned passage ever again.

But I do somewhat agree with the last part of the passage:

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to [their partners] to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

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