Why I Can't Work Retail

I have absolutely no visual observation skills. This impotency greatly impaired my efficacy as a retail employee at Mervyn's, where I graced the Home Department one summer. People would ask me, "Do you have any of such-and-such bedsheet in queen size?" I would mumble, "Uh, let me check," and disappear into the stockroom, only to forget, immediately, the pattern and fundamental nature of whatever it was I was supposed to be scavenging.

"Fuck," I would think, yawning at a shelf stocked with various bath towels. "OK, I'll just have to say we don't have any more this time, but next time I must etch the pattern and all the details into my brain before coming up here."

I would then trudge back downstairs, only to forget the appearance of whomever it was to whom I owed a report of my failure.