Self-Help

I am a strong believer in the power of the subconscious. I truly believe that a mind can trick itself into believing anything whatsoever. So why not delude yourself into a state of triumph and bliss? I have done so on many occasions using tricks such as the ones highlighted below.

Trick #1: Grass Is Greener
We have all at various times felt like we were plummeting down a desperate abyss of hypotheticals: what if I took that internship in New York; what if my parents were less protective; what if I were born on Uranus instead of Earth? We tend to wish for what we don't have, and if we do obtain it, we tend to reminisce upon the good times of its absence. So, close your eyes and imagine that you were on the "other side," where you had thought the grass would be greener. Imagine that after a while, the bad things start to stick out over the good, and you fondly remember the original side, thinking, "What if I were still there?" Now, open your eyes, and voila- your wish has come true!

Trick #2: More Serious Obligations
Have you ever had to do something that you REALLY didn't want to do, such as study for an exam, or clean your room? Well, now you can do something else you would much rather do and feel terrific about it! Suppose you have an exam on Tuesday and today is Saturday, and there's a really cool art festival going on in the city during the whole weekend. All you have to do is delude yourself into imagining you have another exam that comes on Monday that is even harder than the one on Tuesday. Naturally, your weekend time would then be occupied with something other than studying for the Tuesday exam, right?

You can read these tricks and many more in a forthcoming self-help manual written by Yours Truly that is bound to put all other self-help books out of business for their lack of need: Leading a Life of Mediocrity and Lovin' It!