Color Me Summer Associate

I'm kind of flirting with the idea of applying to a firm for summer work next year. I've never worked in the private sector before. This is probably why I was the only female business major with dark hair in my college. I wasn't the only woman of color -- I'm sure the program was at least 30% Asian with a couple of token black and Latina chicks -- but everyone was duly advised by their seniors to come off as un-ethnic as possible during recruiting time. This meant having very professional-looking (i.e. straight/ened, tied back, light-colored) hair, and probably blue or green contact lenses... oh, and, minimizing any involvement in cultural events or activities on your resume. You don't want "South Asian" this-and-that all over the place, or the big corporations will fear that you won't be able to deal with the diversity of their rich white clientele.

In law school, the career counselor and my senior students from underrepresented communities all continue to give the same advice. Firms tend to be conservative, they say, so if you're black or otherwise have curly/ kinky dair hair, you want to make sure to tie it back. *No braids* or you'll be mistaken for some Malcolm X-supporting black militant Rastafarian and whatnot. If you are queer and you have done any queer activities, even if it's a legal clinic that provided practical experience, you MOS DEF don't want that on your resume.

Then there's the matter of being a woman at all, which I suspect does not work particularly well in one's favor. This is of course part of why you want to be as attractive as possible per Abercrombie standards; studies have frequently shown that employers favor "attractive" candidates over normal people. You shouldn't wear a skirt to an interview in general, but if you are curvy, you definitely want to avoid drawing any attention to your body or they'll think you're as unseasoned in your work ethic as you are in your bulimia.

So, I think I should start gearing up pretty soon. I'll buy a nice relaxer and a corset... and while I'm at it, I think I'll just buy a fake dick and keep it erect the whole time too. Hm, I'm kind of excited about this idea now...