Wedding Rituals

I was watching the video of my cousin Shaba's wedding yesterday, and everything seemed so tiresome. First, being on stage for like five hours performing mysterious rituals in five different outfits, then taking a two-hour "break" to get further decked out, and then coming back for the reception and having to greet and do namaskar to everyone. At least this cousin just did the hand-folding namaskar; my mom said another cousin actually knelt and touched the feet of each of the elders. That is way too much work; after being stressed out for x number of months and spending the whole day being greasy and frenzied, you then have to starve and bow down while others are feasting away?

If I ever get married, I'm gonna use my break to get massively stoned, and then I'll come back and lie face-down on the floor for a nap. The elders can just bless me by coming over and kicking my head.